It was almost three months when I first met him, He was so nice that I was instantly fall to him. He’s 18 years older than me, but I don’t mind the gap. I tried to put myself on his level…from maturity to immaturity. I take risk on our affair, hidden from his friends and so mine. I love him so much that I forgot to know if he really loves me or not. I often told him how much I love him every now and then, but I heard no answers….always in safe. I wanted to cry whenever I think if what’s really my worth to him. It’s like I’m loving to no one. I wanted to cry when he’s taking for granted my calls or my txt’s….he doesn’t appreciate my efforts and love.
Hi, its been a long time since my last post here. And some of my readers might miss my words here. It’s just I couldn’t find away or I haven’t thought of the things I want to share, mostly interesting one. I was empty with emotions and so words. I was busy then, doing rapport to my chosen career, and forgetting the things that makes me weak. Even that time, I noted myself to barrier between those things. And I focused on moulding my goals and dreams.
After nurturing the loneliness I found my greatest love, fashion. It was the passion that made me whole and happy.Every piece I made is a success for me. I wanted to be famous in every piece I made, not just a whole. I love what I am doing, that I forget to share it to someone.
It was just an exit to where I’ve been before, when times that I’m carrying all the burdens and heart aches of my past. In every time people asked me how my life been after a heart break, I wouldn’t even dare to whisper that I’m not ok but instead I would shout that everything is fine…I was holding back the pain. I just could accept that I was hurt..
It was so sudden that an opportunity came int my way. I got an offer to work here in Dubai as a designer. I was so hungry to my passion then, and I grabbed it. I flew away from the place I met the hardship and welcomes the loneliness.
I arrived here evening of October, the next day I started working already. By then, my wrks went so calm and smooth. But everyday I met newer things that made me confused. But I stayed stronger untill I came back to my feet. Now, I’m doing fine and hopefully I’ll do great.
It was friday night of party for my coleagues here in Dubai. We’re expecting some visitors from my former school in the Philippines. The counterpart, I didn’t expected that I’ll met someone that will bother my sanity after. After I saw his chinky pairs of eyes and his shy smiles. I knew that time that I fell off my guards that I brought. Knowing he’s my friend’s ex. That time I wanted to know him more, talk and hold his hands.
I just cant keep thinking of the thought of how wrong am I in this world to be left nothing but hope. To be happy, still needs to justify myself and prove the reasons not to be silent and be heard. But, my heart, I knew it cries out loud to my chest and seek comfort from anyone I’m hoping to cherish. I’d love to seek warmth from whisper of hapiness, yet still I hear silence.
There are things that doesnt go with your plan, and doesnt go with what you hope. I like this guy, we chatted every now and then, and I hoped the path for maturity of being special goes a success but it failed. Then another came, we’ve known before and then I was late. And recently I met this guy whom I found him good and I like him so much, but again…Iwas late çoz my friend already owns him.
Yes I’m disappointed, not to anyone but to myself. I thought of there’s something wrong with me…
I want to be love again.
I knew everything happens for a reason…and I hope that reason is good.